Fitting in or Standing out?

As I drove out to the health club to get in my 10k on the treadmill this afternoon, I passed a guy sauntering through the grass seemingly with nowhere in particular to be.  He was enjoying a somewhat mild mid-afternoon stroll, albeit with an impressively cold and fast wind.  I glanced quickly as I rolled by and spied a 20 oz. plastic pop bottle dangling precariously from the first two fingers of his right hand.  I turned my eyes back to the road, but my mind stayed focused on that pop bottle.

"He doesn't even care that he is drinking something that is unhealthy for him." My brain began it's assault on my willpower. "Why can't I be more like normal people and not care so much about being healthy. There are a lot of people who live a nice life without having to always make the healthy choice in what they eat!"

Those thoughts came in a 3 second wave of envy, jealousy, and regret, which rolled back out to sea as quickly as it had come.  It barely reached my toes standing on the beach of my own life looking out at everyone else's.

As the wave receded, I came back to myself and these questions: "Why do I even want to fit in?  Why would I want to be like everyone else?"

The answer came back not as an answer as much as an understanding, a knowledge of myself.  I have never fit in.  I have never desired to be like everyone else, well, not for long.  That desire was more like a fleeting thought when life had given me something I thought I wasn't prepared to handle.  

My life has always been a series of ebbs and flows, ups and downs, most of which has been brought on because of the choices I have made in order to stand out and to be loyal and honest to myself.  When a new fad comes along, like the Harry Potter series, I resist the temptation to jump.  If or when I do, that is usually at a time when most others have moved on to something new.  

I desire for my life to be filled with interesting experiences that lead me to know myself better, to know the world in a unique way, and to know people who will expand my universe.  Even though there are brief moments in which fitting in seems easier, being who I am makes me realize that fitting in would be much more difficult a thing to accomplish than standing on who I am and who I want to be in this world.

Day 2 of the Whole Life Challenge has come to a close, and I found a beautiful nugget of knowledge about myself that was unexpected!  How wonderful!